I miss the office hijinks. Several of my teammates are in the same office and have had their desks rearranged so they’re nearer each other. They are now plotting elaborate rubber-band wars. I *love* rubber band wars.
I sent them this article on the Disintegrator.
The last proper office battle I was engaged in was a couple of years ago, when a few of us took to whipping those spongy stress balls at each other. I was always too impatient, and would fire my volley off as soon as no one was looking. My opponent was far more cunning; at one point, he waited for nearly a week, then brained me from 50 yards one night on his way out the door. I just can’t compete with that kind of military strategic brilliance.